Finance vs. God’s will

An open letter to Auckland Park Theological Seminary’s staff.

I write this to you as a testimony, praise be to God, of His faithful love to us at ATS.

On 31 December 2008, the AFM church terminated ATS as being a training institution for the AFM church. I was on vacation in George during this time and was busy evaluating a thesis as an external examiner. The dissertation was about the trauma care of someone who has experienced the death of a loved one.

I realised that I was experiencing the same trauma of loss, due to the church’s termination of our association. ATS was linked to the AFM church and now the band was broken. I experienced an intense feeling of loss that I could hardly overcome. I had to admit the loss, quantify the extent of the loss and mourn about it. I wept a lot during that holiday as part of the grieving process and move towards healing. Then I had to get up and calculate what we had left after the loss we had suffered and what we would do with it – to plan for a future. To do this, I decided to arrange a meeting of the Governing Council and staff members just after the holidays, in order to plan the way forward.

The meeting was arranged during February 2009, at Louis Wilsenach’s smallholding in Muldersdrif. Louis called this meeting “Blue Sky”. At the meeting we collectively decided to proceed as a training institution and did some future planning, with assosiated tasks. For the financial challenges we did not have an answer, except that we asked *Bill and *Jeff to take responsibility in developing a plan for us. The financial situation was like a big monster waiting for us in the water and we had no idea how to overcome it.

During our next Governing Council meeting I presented my feedback on the tasks generated at the Blue Sky meeting. The tasks were clear and it was expected that I should provide feedback on ATS’ progress. I mentioned that we haven’t yet received any feedback regarding the finances. Bill responded in a letter, stating that he and Jeff never agreed to such a task. He was probably right, it was us who, in our desperation, took a decision during the meeting that they, as the most competent businessmen among us, would guide us.

Rene (who at that time helped me with marketing) and I, realised that we were facing the single biggest challenge for ATS. From the 1^st of January 2009, among others, ATS:

• no longer received any subsidy from the AFM church,
• our student enrollments fell immediately,
• soon after that the University of Johannesburg one-sidedly cancelled our contract and with it, our government subsidies were lost, and
• our church donors dried up overnight.

It was a perfectly organised annihilation strategy. Finance would be the single biggest tool with which the devil had tried to destroy ATS during this 11-year long battle. The 12 court cases hugely contributed to the financial crisis – a cost spiral that, over an 11-year period, created a potential financial deficit of more than R25 million. These days (Jan 2020), student fees consist of about 10 pipeline students who have a few subjects.
 
We realised back then that we had one of two choices:

1. We could throw in the towel and walk away, or
2. We could ask ourselves the honest question: What is God’s will? And when we are sure of what His will is, we trust Him for the finances no matter how impossible it might be.

We recognised at that point that we were facing an annual deficit of R2.5 million. At that point, we still received an average of R660,000 per year as donations (over a 3-year period). We knew that these were now also in the balance and we did eventually lose these donations.

Our “war-cry” during this time became: 2 Corinthians 6:7 (as per the 1983 Afrikaans Translation) “Ons wapen vir aanval en verdediging is om die wil van God te doen.” (Our weapon for attack and defense is to do the will of God.)

Someone referred me to *Cass van der Hoover as a potential donor and Rene and I often met with him. He was very friendly and immediately agreed to help us in our short-term and long-term needs. We mentioned our financial estimations to him, but it did not seem to be problem for him. We first had to compile a complete marketing document for him. Rene went to great lengths to create a great marketing document that included ATS’ history, mission, vision and long-term planning.

Cass paid for the graphic design and printing of the marketing document but never made any contribution to, or secure any contributions for, ATS. ATS’ monthly student income amounted to approximately R100,000, resulting in a deficit of approximately R200,000 per month. At that point, Covenant and the Transkei colleges, which always ran at a loss, were still part of ATS.

On March 20, 2009, ATS experienced the first salary shortfall of R200,000. The night before payment was due, I slept in the living room so as not to disturb my wife. The next morning, while Annakie and I were praying in tongues, the Lord said to me: “I will take care of you today and so I will take care of you every month and so your faith will grow.” I didn’t like the part “…so your faith will grow” because I didn’t want to be sleeping in the living room every end of the month. The next day, a man and woman whom I have contacted, walked into my office and made a payment of R200,000.

Since the reality of our financial problems were too overwhelming for Rene and I, Cass’ optimism and his promises that he would help, cushioned us in that we did not yet have to submit to the full extent of the problem. However, upon later reflection, we discovered that after a while, we both had a nagging feeling of: “what if one day we discovered Cass wasn’t going to help ATS?”  The truth and the consequences were so overwhelming that we both decided not to talk to each other about our fear because we just couldn’t handle the consequences.

The day did however come that we had to admit it to one another but that was after the Lord had delivered ATS in many ways and through great wonders. Cass performed an important function in those early days. In the beginning, the Lord told me that the devil is against everything that God wants to do. The training of spiritual leaders is important to Him therefore the devil will do everything to prevent it. He also asked me that day: “If you are not prepared for this task then tell me.” I felt that I would no longer want to live should I tell Him that I am not prepared for the task. In doing so, I would not only deny God but would also draw a line through my own existence. This last part He did not say to me but I felt that He would find someone else who would be up to the task.

I asked him something else: “Lord, do not spare ATS’ staff from the hardships because I never want them to miss the opportunity to be formed by You because they are important for the training of spiritual leaders.”  When you suffered so much alongside me, I was truly feeling a deep sadness for you but I have never regretted my prayer. For that, you are too precious. I am aware that you each have your own unique hardships because God has a special case with each one of you.

The suffering was more severe and continued for much longer than I could ever have imagined. It was an unthinkable trauma to grapple with an ever-present money shortage. I wanted to protect ATS and your own dignity from having to live like a “beggar”. I wanted to protect ATS and my own family’s name. I cried many times. I made plans that often didn’t work. I had to learn to walk slowly, to listen carefully to His will and constantly build my faith.

But more than anything, these were 11 years of majestic wonders of God. Almost every month I thought that there could no longer be a “rabbit” that God could “pull out of a hat”. It felt as if even for God it was no longer possible to provide. Yet, He provided us with more than R25 million over a period of 132 months. There were also Christian friends along the way who helped wonderfully.

You were part of this suffering. From the beginning there were no annual increases or bonuses. For a long time now some of you have not received any compensation. Some only receive a portion and the past 3 months have been the worst ever.

Through it all something wonderful happened to us as a family: we have a peace and contentment in the Lord that has become very precious to us. In the meantime, He takes great care of us. We have become stronger in the Lord and there is a conviction in our hearts that is growing, namely: that God is with ATS and the training that will take place here is part of a huge plan. The events of ATS’ history were events ordered by God and we do not want to miss out on God’s plan. We never want to allow ourselves to be satisfied with second best. We thank God for the privilege of going through this process and we do not want His purpose to be missed at all – not even in the smallest detail.

For many years the criticism against ATS was, that our lecturers live in an ‘ivory tower’ and are far removed from the real world. Today there are scarcely people with a better understanding of the implications of the verse “patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of God’s people” (Rev 13:10) than ATS’ staff. During the past 11 years we have learnt what it takes and what it ‘costs’ to forcefully take hold of God’s Kingdom.  We are today more relevant than most and maybe even more so for a post-Covid-19 world.  By God’s grace we have something to impart to His Church, the body of Jesus Christ.

I am so grateful to each of you. You have been hand-picked by God. You are a gift from God and you are in the right place, at right time for God’s breakthrough. The breakthrough is like “the first grass shoots breaking through concrete” (as per Kobus de Smidt). I was so surprised by George Molebatsi. I thought he was dying of hunger and loneliness in his “sinkhuis” in Orange Farm and then he called to tell me, “It is only the Lord who has helped us through this trouble. Old man, you must stand up and fight!”

We are Pentecostals and maybe our story will, by the grace of God, extend the definition of this concept.  I do not know of a Theological Seminary where its people – from the handyman, the office assistance cum housekeeper, right through to the theologians – hear God’s voice and with confidence bring it to the rest of the staff, without fear or consideration for the ‘status’ of man.

Our suffering may continue for a little while longer as the world faces the Covid-19 pandemic but we need to get ready for celebration!

By the way, ATS is 75 years old this year!

ATS has been resurrected within the perfect storm – the same year ATS celebrates its 75th “birthday”. This is not a coincidence but as per Proverbs 3:11: “He has made everything beautiful; He has made everything (falling out) at its appointed time. The beauty consists in this, that what is done is not done sooner or later than it ought to be, so as to connect itself as a constituent part to the whole of God’s work” (Keil & Delitzsch).

To God all the glory!

Your friend

Jan

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* Name has been changed